G H Y S F

gentle intervention from a distance

I’ve been around enough intractable people to know what “intractable” means. if you want to shift some tiny aspect of the way they do anything - you will need a tractor.

It’s a job to say how anyone can take the bull by the horns of their style of madness , the clinging to a worn out life boat of behaviours that can become crazy making for them and the peeps around them, to survives and thrive , become more gentle and calm maybe- thru confronting the shadows and pain of their hesitation to love themselves- on the other hand what in the very fuck would STOP anyone from digging in full throttle and straightening out the snarl.

Waking up and smelling ( better not to drink it for most worked up folks) takes courage! ( or desperation i guess)

The biggest insight into how our minds spin webs of ground to stand on from the ego’s point of view for me came from the Buddhist teachings.

I’ve been inspired and dipping in the strong tea of the wisdom and clarity of the brilliant teachings of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche for 34 years ,and though I am a pitiful practitioner I am devoted to the lineage of generous teachers, I share the view - and- tho its in pieces bobbing in the ocean of neurosis like everyone else these days- the community of dharma brothers and sisters who share this deep devotion to seeing thru one’s trips and letting go of ego.

lol. Good luck with that.

People are always on about getting away to that peaceful place, that ground of solitude the retreat the getaway.(pref.with some snacks a downloaded movie maybe an old New Yorker mag and a couple of friends to bounce off (re: how friggin peaceful it is. )

The stuff I studied basically pulled the rug on rumination and ripped the roof off “spirituality.”

Stuff like the a”relative vs the absolute truth” of this conundrum , having a mind or being in a big mind or whatever it is.

Absolute-spacious! open ! No big deal! BIG SKY MIND!

Relative-the Grand Central Station of thoughts and emotion we are in most of the time.

In between?

Many reasons to never fully relax.

how to get there. everything we hear is filtered thru our credentials. and It’s hard work sitting with the self loathing …breaking thru to a bigger view ..and sensing the raw open heart of sadness that is the H C ( human condish)

Too hard for me. Yet here I am.

If i were to run it down quick i would say having a body being programmed by authorities in our worlds and the neurotic aspects of wanting to be safe and feeling unsafe constantly are a couple of great reasons to never relax. It is on a scale from there to having bought polyester sheets by mistake or marrying a narcissist and having people always caught up with your beauty instead of seeing THE REAL YOU.

lol intense stuff. the first nobel truth of Buddhism is after all all life is SUFFERING.

I won’t go any further here with elaborating on the styles of imprisonment that accompany our unique situations and our strong karmic patterns. You can look that up yourself. If you wanna look it up it’s laid out so simply in Buddhist teachings.

…the 3 poisons , the 5 buddha families, the 6 paramitas ,the 8 worldly dharmas.its all there, it’s a numbers game. kidding.

Our own styles are kinda teh ways we cope with the world we are in, the endless hassle of there being no way to beat the groundlessness* and the impermanence* and how we handle that.

(* i think those are two of the three “marks of existence”)

Some of us are kinda blessed.

We’ve had enough half fuckeries that get inspired to enter the fun house of seeking We Had to on account of ridiculous circumstances attracted thru desperate measures and shitty karma ! Finally we wake up to our part in it, stop blaming -as much as possible- and can get a grip on being reasonable . We hope,

When we are insecure- call it “Wednesday”-smart people make us feel dumb.

“FUCK THAT GUY!” And sometimes- like a I dunno-Friday night? -the same smart Alec just wins us over and thrills us. “A-HA HA HA ! SO TRUE!!”

Depends on the day.

We are by turns leaning too far out the window of wanting, hiding too deeply in the corner of not wanting, or teetering on the razor sharp quality of nothing lasting. (Unless its pain, of course, which we are often hysterically panicking will last FOREVER.

There’s something juicy and wonderful about the way we are fucked up.

It’s probably “everything”.

Maybe it is the essence. The sweet treat. The poblano pepper.

The insanity of our hysteria vs the crazy laughter and tears of letting go of that….. in slow mo…. thats life.

This is nothing new to you.

Clearly.

and of course you are down with the fact that the fuckery needs to be strained from the soup of the everyday so we dont continue to be stuck behind the set and never truly shining on the stage of our own friggin lives,( or calmly backstage happily operating the lights if thats our style)

but i think KIND OF IMPORTANTLY - its worth pursuing any means possible to not make more of a snarl in the yarn of things or to hurt ourselves or others because we can’t love ourselves.

We cant access the compassion because we hold grudges against ourselves.

That’s messy. Unpleasant.

Anyhoo…

I have wanted to share the five things I’ve used to be a hairsbreadth less nuts than I was, and I have recently been re-inspired to do that.

So after a considerable languishing period after my last hip replacement. I am back.

and happy to present a series of substacks that will become my very own help yourself book -

“Get Help You Sick Fuck-(THE BOOK THAT’S NOT FOR YOU)”

You can read it anyway .

You know..before you give it to Jerry’