game changer

the number you have reached is outside the service area

There’s a disconnect in this crazy world of ours. and i use the term “ours” loosely.

Any fool can see it ain’t ours anymore. ‘Cause you may love the fuck out of something precious, a life line of beauty, a vein of gold in a hard rock life--and someone- some shit arsed lowlife who manages to wash in toxic soap, drink fluoride ,swish his mercury fillings with Listerine, put on low frequency polyester clothes, work from home in very weird slippers drinking Folger’s and eating Eggo waffles in 2024 -can give the okay for ‘dozers to take out your piece of paradise -the only thing that was keeping you sane- because he bought it.

Oh its fucked up. which is fine. it was ever thus.

The confusion of the minds of men is a spiral of bullshit enough to choke out paradise-yes.

Job almost complete. But is that the problem ultimately.? I mean didn’t the Tibetan monks keep practicing when the Chinese came and got brutal on their asses?

Is what’s going on the problem? It was always brutal and vicious. (relatively)

Is it that? or is it losing sight of the discipline required to establish enough detachment to break the bonds of suffering just enough to BE the sunshine you wish would shine thru the chemical weather modifying haze oneself if nessecary.

If thats it- if remembering to go within in a proper PHONE FREE way is the ticket - then obviously that’s why I’ve been MISERABLE!!!!!!

Trying to follow the story of what’s wrong with the world-( “your screen time was reduced to 8 hours a day last week”) - like being glued to it will somehow result in me helping in someway- is bullshit that requires significant rethinking STAT & ASAP!

Maybe i am SOMEONE WHO COULD HELP -but.. i got a sneaking suspish that I MIGHT HAVE TO GET OFF THE PHONE to do it.But somehow I can’t help but chomp on the popcorn of panic in the theatre of my phones eye view of the feature presentation- end o’ the world!! Playing all decade. in the mini theatre of war and devastation in your hand.

the Dissolution of the semblance of goodness, extreme disregard for the sacredness of life, …shit people are willing to do to their fellow man just to remain comfortable themselves-ugh all broadcast on this appendage i pay to hold in my hand and give permission to to destroy my creativity . JESUS ! fuck this toxic micro cell tower that has owned me and taken me far from the path for way too long- fuck this phone.

i am on it 24/7 watching myself sink in the quicksand of despair. Can’t do my exercises because who knows i may start to get back into writing my book-( get off the phone and back on the computer!) oh whoops! just spent three more hours on my phone.awwww. oh look now I am up on my hind legs again rolling my eyes at people who think free speech is a problem. How did this HAPPENNNNN>???

oh to live this day without worry or stress! to visit my friend in Dartmouth who always brings me joy. To dial back the paranoia. to drop the injuries to my fragile ego. To work on the chapter where they go to the cabin and do acid and swim at topsail beach . to get a lil outfit and some new underpants at The Bay. to munch on a cookie and buy the wrong book at chap chaps …to actually a commit to a brunch.

“ It was supposed to be better for Aries this year!!! “i scream at the sky. Even my bird feeding station is invaded by pigeons and starlings, fuuuck!.

To take the longer walk with the dog. to call a friend. to dive headlong into my project even if no one is waiting on the other side- to honour my self by applying the discipline to sit in meditation, to make tea for my shrine to make it to Sunday sitting with the Buddhists, to make a real meal , more than a sand wich even tho this frantic weirdo is going to eat it alone.

But I’m a bit down…awwww!

Oh to be one of the “Don’t be so foolish! its not that bad” people-just for today Lord!

To practice throwing out phrases like pshaw- “ they wouldn’t do THAT!”

Instead I obsess about the whole catastrophe.

It is bad. its true.L A is in flames. they’re adopting an injectable platform that is death to the human genome, the people in North Carolina are still in tents,Miami is moldy mold causes insanity. something wants us dead, aliens must be behind it. etc.

I watch it on my phone and alien-ate more people everyday when all i want- like most monsters- is to belong. (puke) (OK maybe I’m not sure what I want.)

Not being a spectator all the goddam time. For starters.

Cripes! I should be tipped off by the quality of the “game changers” on instagram I suppose.

Pigs on instagram- for example- loveable, intelligent, rescued pigs ! Pigs at the chiropractor! serenaded with cellos one minute and the next -the delicious stars of a BLT !(A BLT that is a “game changer.”)

Game changers are everywhere ! like the “ghostly cheese ball” you can make for Halloween! It’s a game changer!

Castor oil on the eyebrows? Taping your mouth closed at night? You guessed it- GAME CHANGERS!1

“RAW-DOGGIN LIFE” after throwing your phone into deep waters off Alaska.?

a g-

oops