i gotta be me apparently

another day ..whoops..night

I do not need a man to disappoint me or let me down or ignore me or not support me.

Luckily I have myself for that. I am a bit less snappy with myself as I am with dumb ole men, anyway. As one of my stage jokes goes- “I went to a psychic- what’s she gonna tell me at my age? You or some of your friends will DIE SOON?!! Is she gonna tell me I am gonna “MEET SOMEONE?” Meet someone?!! Meet someone!? why? So I can bite the face off him for breathing like that?!”

WHAT DOES ONE DO though- WHEN ONE LETS ONESELF DOWN ?

Who ya gonna call? Tell ya right now-You are not going to get any feedback when you bitch about your own ass to a friend- except “sheesh…I dunno… drink more water??”

It’s just not as compelling as having some external mirror-type person to blame.

I HAVE instagram so I know I have to “turn up for myself.”

Holy Hannah ( old person for” holy fuck”-)there’s a lot on the ‘gram about the old ADHD THESE DAYS.

No point in telling us( ADHD-ers) “ what to DO- we can’t do it. We KNOW what to do . But we can’t do it.

For examp- my friend helped me set up a “google calendar”.

I dont know how to enter something in that calendar-but that was real swell of him- cause now every fucking morning my google calendar- perky as fuck- chirps at me

“ you have no appointments today !”.

I do ..not. That’s correct. But even if i did- I wouldn’t tell a dumb CALENDAR like you.

On top of that people like me have “Time Blindness”

ya don’t say.

That’s me getting on the road to see the fall foliage when the trees are bare already. Oops. And oh! Who is that pulling in to get a few annuals in JULY when they are dismantling the garden centre. ??! You guessed it. The same. C Jiggums Jones …me.

oh ffs .More daunting is the fact that “if you don’t have a schedule your life is toast.”

I must be having a seizure-life wise- because I smell burnt toast ALL THE TIME.

Truth is-I’ve hit bottom of the well of “a room of ones own” -”a place in the woods!”

No problem. I find myself successfully “away from it all” all the time- and i can say - when there is NO where to turn but in- you find the same old boring empty unwilling undisciplined a-hole every time.

Or Maybe that’s just me. lol.

Its true that making things work out for one’s self , avoiding pain ,staying in the ole comfort zone etc-is a nightmare.

So just ..um.. give thanks for whatever karmic conundrum you’re struggling with my friends. …

No one to hilariously complain about?

Karmically in a cats cradle of your own stringing?

Just about at the edge of your rope?

Great start.

I love my mind. But i would like a friend to jam with.

Last night I gently perceived that I still exist even without the awareness of me by others. Great. Got it. It is way more spiritual to be lonely and stuff.

I mean I grew up like this. You wrote a line or two about your day in a five year diary with a tiny lock.

“Gary said “Nice shot!” at tennis today. We had mac and chee for dinner. Spinning Wheel is number five on the charts.”

so its fairly simple obviously etc.

just whip up a blog while your bath water cools.

Don’t worry. No one will read it.